....What a special treasure to be able to give our children. A letter (or letters) from the birthparents that gave them life and gave us the best gift ever!
I have been thinking about this recently because of the MTV series "16 and Pregnant". What a surprisingly wonderful, beautifully honest and real series. Especially the one in which the young couple wanted a better life for their baby and chose adoption. This couple was beyond amazing in their strength and wisdom and love for their baby. At the end of the show, the young birthdad read some of a letter he wrote to their daughter and it was so heartfelt and beautiful. I've attached the link for the entire letter here:
Tyler's Letter
When birthparents write letters to the babies they created and placed for adoption, it gives that child a look into their birthparent's hearts and can give them some understanding on why they chose to place them for adoption. Often adoptees wonder why they were placed, why their birthparents chose not to parent, what their birthparents were thinking and feeling, if they loved them, if they think of them and miss them etc. These letters can provide them with some answers and hopefully some comfort and peace.
K wrote Alex one of these letters. She gave it to us the day we met her and Alex. She asked us to read it sometime after we left the hopsital, and to keep it for Alex. When we returned to our hotel, we focussed on Alex and settled in a bit to being new parents. But that letter was in the back of my head. I was anxious to read it but hesitant also. I knew it would be hard to hear K's words in the midst of our celebration. But we read the letter. And it was perfect. And I cried. I cried for K's love and sorrow, for her courage, for our gift and for Alex - knowing that he will have this letter to read someday. Today I took that letter out and read it again. It really is a wonderful letter. She wrote about her relationship with Alex's birthdad, about her decision to place him for adoption and about why she chose us to be his forever parents. I think (hope) it will help Alex understand. I'm so grateful that we have it to give to him someday.
Alex turned one just 2 weeks ago. And we didn't hear from K. I was hoping to have a bday card from her to be able to show Alex someday. But no card came in the mail. No letter. No call. No text. I was very disappointed that we didn't hear from K. But I have to remember that while we were celebrating Alex's birthday, she was likely remembering his birth in a very different way. I just hope she knows how much we love Alex, how happy he is and how grateful we are. We may not have a bday card from K to give to Alex, but we have that letter. And, thanks to some wonderful conversations with K prior to placement, we have lots to tell him about her decision to give him to us and about her love for him.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
1 year ago today
One year ago today
You took my breath away
with your golden hair and bright blue eyes
Your sweetness had me mesmerized!
OK, there's my attempt at a poem memorializing the day we met Alex. I tried to write a more in-depth poem, but I can't seem to find the perfect words to describe that moment we first saw him, first held him, first smelled him, kissed him, cuddled him. It's really indescribable. And how from the moment he became ours, all the pain, struggle, disappointment, frustration, hopelessness and anger we experienced trying to become parents all just magically disappeared. It was like everything came into focus - we knew exactly why we went thru everything that we did. Our road was meant to lead us to Alex. And to those moments.
Below is a popular adoption poem. I love this poem and related to immediately in those first moments with Alex. Recently, because of his birthday and the anniversary of us meeting him I was reminded about it again:
The Gift of Life
I didn't give you the gift of life,
But in my heart I know -
The love I feel is deep and real
As if it had been so.
For us to have each other
Is like a dream come true!
No, I did not give you the gift of life -
Life gave me the gift of you!
You took my breath away
with your golden hair and bright blue eyes
Your sweetness had me mesmerized!
OK, there's my attempt at a poem memorializing the day we met Alex. I tried to write a more in-depth poem, but I can't seem to find the perfect words to describe that moment we first saw him, first held him, first smelled him, kissed him, cuddled him. It's really indescribable. And how from the moment he became ours, all the pain, struggle, disappointment, frustration, hopelessness and anger we experienced trying to become parents all just magically disappeared. It was like everything came into focus - we knew exactly why we went thru everything that we did. Our road was meant to lead us to Alex. And to those moments.
Below is a popular adoption poem. I love this poem and related to immediately in those first moments with Alex. Recently, because of his birthday and the anniversary of us meeting him I was reminded about it again:
The Gift of Life
I didn't give you the gift of life,
But in my heart I know -
The love I feel is deep and real
As if it had been so.
For us to have each other
Is like a dream come true!
No, I did not give you the gift of life -
Life gave me the gift of you!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
How is Alex one year old????
One year ago today I had just returned from OK for my annual work conference and we were celebrating my Dad's birthday a few days late. Really, it was just a normal day for us. I was happy to be home from OK and be with Jay, Buddy and Bella. And I was not looking forward to returning to the office the next day. It's always so crazy returning from a trip, especially a work trip, having my weekend cut short and then returning to the office. Little did I know how crazy it would really get!
The day after "Baby Boy S." was born we got the call about him. Things were a little uncertain at that point but we jumped on to the rollercoaster. Then on 7/15 we were told K wanted to speak with us. So I rushed over to Jay's work and we sat in my car trying to get through to K at the hospital. The line was busy for about an hour! Each minute that went by added to our nervousness. We finally got through and K told us her phone was accidentally off the hook. We spoke to her for about 30 minutes. She asked us lots of questions and told us what she liked about our profile. Then she told us that she wants us to be her baby's parents. I immediately started to cry. We will never forget that moment when K decided to give us the best gift ever! "Baby Boy S." became Alexander Jay Eric - our son!
We called our adoption agency to tell them the news and get the ball rolling to be able to pick up our son. We decided not to call anyone else until we both got home from work. We had lots to finish up at work in order to prepare to be out for awhile. Talk about craziness!
After I left work, I went to Target bc I needed allergy medicine. I got my meds but then I just wandered around the store in a complete daze. I guess I was sorta in shock - it felt like a dream!
When Jay and I got home we began calling our family and closest friends to share our news. We videotaped many of these calls. I love how you can just hear the pure excitement and joy in our voices and someday Alex will hear it too. Then we called K and I had a great conversation with her. We have so much in common and it just felt right. We talked about how "people come into your lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime"...one of my favorite sayings. K's too. And then she sent us our very first pictures of our son via text. I remember feeling so anxious to see what he looked like. And when we received the texts my eyes filled with tears, my heart just about melted - he was OURS! And what a beautiful baby boy he was!
The rest of that night was spent on the phone, sending emails, updating our blog. Before I went to bed I started logging everything that happened that day so I would not forget any part of our story.
That night I slept about 3 hours. I just kept thinking about Alex. The little sleep I did get was filled with dreams of him. The next day Jay and I went into work and shared our news with co-workers. Jay's mom brought a bday cake into her work to celebrate AJ's bday - I thought that was so sweet!
We spoke with K again that day several more times. She is quite the talker! And her mom sent us more pictures of Alex, as well as some other family pictures. Later that day we found out we would be traveling to get Alex in just a couple of days. We spent the next days getting everything organized at home and at work in preparation for bringing Alex home. Again, I did not sleep much at all.
On 7/17 Jay and I drove to Buffalo to go to STAR to sign the papers. That was quite the experience - we like to refer to those few hours as our "labor pain"! But in the end we were so excited to be meeting Alex in less than 1 day!
On 7/18 we got up bright and early and left our house for Long Island. Our video-camera decided not to work so at about 4am we drove to Jay's parents' house to borrow theirs! Thank God they answered their phone that early!
After getting a little "off-track" on our way to Long Island, we checked into the hotel and rushed to the hospital to meet K, her mom and our son. That day is forever stamped onto our hearts.....too many precious moments to write here now.
So today is more than just Alex's 1st bday - it's the beginning of our family story. I can not believe he is one year old already! Didn't K just hand him to me? Wasn't he just a little 5 1/2 lb baby? I loved everything about his 1st year. And I am sad that it is gone. It really went by so fast - too fast. I wish I could just slow time down. But just as I cherish all the days we've had with him up til now, I look forward to the moments we have yet to have with him.
HAPPY BDAY ALEXANDER!!!!! WE LOVE YOU! And I pray that you will always know what you mean to us every day of your life!
I suppose I shouldn't post this LONG post w/o any pics of Alex. I have been deligent about taking his picture on every "week bday" so here is the LAST of the weekly pics. This is Alex yesterday at 52 weeks old (and yes - he is standing a lot and even taking some steps!):
The day after "Baby Boy S." was born we got the call about him. Things were a little uncertain at that point but we jumped on to the rollercoaster. Then on 7/15 we were told K wanted to speak with us. So I rushed over to Jay's work and we sat in my car trying to get through to K at the hospital. The line was busy for about an hour! Each minute that went by added to our nervousness. We finally got through and K told us her phone was accidentally off the hook. We spoke to her for about 30 minutes. She asked us lots of questions and told us what she liked about our profile. Then she told us that she wants us to be her baby's parents. I immediately started to cry. We will never forget that moment when K decided to give us the best gift ever! "Baby Boy S." became Alexander Jay Eric - our son!
We called our adoption agency to tell them the news and get the ball rolling to be able to pick up our son. We decided not to call anyone else until we both got home from work. We had lots to finish up at work in order to prepare to be out for awhile. Talk about craziness!
After I left work, I went to Target bc I needed allergy medicine. I got my meds but then I just wandered around the store in a complete daze. I guess I was sorta in shock - it felt like a dream!
When Jay and I got home we began calling our family and closest friends to share our news. We videotaped many of these calls. I love how you can just hear the pure excitement and joy in our voices and someday Alex will hear it too. Then we called K and I had a great conversation with her. We have so much in common and it just felt right. We talked about how "people come into your lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime"...one of my favorite sayings. K's too. And then she sent us our very first pictures of our son via text. I remember feeling so anxious to see what he looked like. And when we received the texts my eyes filled with tears, my heart just about melted - he was OURS! And what a beautiful baby boy he was!
The rest of that night was spent on the phone, sending emails, updating our blog. Before I went to bed I started logging everything that happened that day so I would not forget any part of our story.
That night I slept about 3 hours. I just kept thinking about Alex. The little sleep I did get was filled with dreams of him. The next day Jay and I went into work and shared our news with co-workers. Jay's mom brought a bday cake into her work to celebrate AJ's bday - I thought that was so sweet!
We spoke with K again that day several more times. She is quite the talker! And her mom sent us more pictures of Alex, as well as some other family pictures. Later that day we found out we would be traveling to get Alex in just a couple of days. We spent the next days getting everything organized at home and at work in preparation for bringing Alex home. Again, I did not sleep much at all.
On 7/17 Jay and I drove to Buffalo to go to STAR to sign the papers. That was quite the experience - we like to refer to those few hours as our "labor pain"! But in the end we were so excited to be meeting Alex in less than 1 day!
On 7/18 we got up bright and early and left our house for Long Island. Our video-camera decided not to work so at about 4am we drove to Jay's parents' house to borrow theirs! Thank God they answered their phone that early!
After getting a little "off-track" on our way to Long Island, we checked into the hotel and rushed to the hospital to meet K, her mom and our son. That day is forever stamped onto our hearts.....too many precious moments to write here now.
So today is more than just Alex's 1st bday - it's the beginning of our family story. I can not believe he is one year old already! Didn't K just hand him to me? Wasn't he just a little 5 1/2 lb baby? I loved everything about his 1st year. And I am sad that it is gone. It really went by so fast - too fast. I wish I could just slow time down. But just as I cherish all the days we've had with him up til now, I look forward to the moments we have yet to have with him.
HAPPY BDAY ALEXANDER!!!!! WE LOVE YOU! And I pray that you will always know what you mean to us every day of your life!
I suppose I shouldn't post this LONG post w/o any pics of Alex. I have been deligent about taking his picture on every "week bday" so here is the LAST of the weekly pics. This is Alex yesterday at 52 weeks old (and yes - he is standing a lot and even taking some steps!):
Thursday, July 2, 2009
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO US!
Today Jason and I celebrate our 4th year wedding anniversary! Four years ago today was one of the best days of our lives! I use to say it was the BEST day of my life, but that was before Alex. But still, it's easy to get caught up in the joy of parenthood and loose grip of the wonderment (is that even a word?) of marriage. Our lives became so focussed around Alex since he is our world. But we have to remember that in the center of that world is mine and Jay's relationship, our love for each other, our marriage. And today I can say that I love Jay even more than I did 4 years ago. So while everyday is about Alex, today we are celebrating us.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABE!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABE!
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