7 months old and My Little Valentine

I decided to do a seperate post to acknowledge AJ's 7 month old bday. Before heading off to Buffalo yesterday I took one picture of my sweet baby boy. His smile and wide eyes stayed with me throughout the day:


Today is Valentine's Day. Last February, Jay and I decided to start our adoption process and register with Adoption STAR. Jay gave me a card on V-Day and inside it he wrote: "Let's adopt a baby, baby!". That was one year ago today. Little did we know that our baby was already growing in K's belly and waiting to meet us!

Here's a picture from this afternoon at lunchtime. This is the 1st time he grabbed the spoon from me and actually put it in his mouth. He looks so happy and proud! My smart lil Valentine!

Continental Flight 3407

Thursday night before going to bed I thought about how Alex was going to be 7 mos old the next day and how much I was looking forward to having a 4 day weekend with him. I also thought that I had to remember to take some pictures for his 7 month old bday. Like I would forget!

But when we got up yesterday morning I saw that I had about 10 messages on my work phone, starting at about 1am. This is how I found out about Continental Flight 3047's crash into a neighborhood in Clarence Center, NY. Tears immediately formed in my eyes as I thought of the lives lost and devastation. Then I immediately went into action knowing that I had to respond. I had to get someone to watch AJ for the day. I had to pack a bag "just-in-case". But then I stoppped when i realized that this was a Continental flight. Our good friend Sean, AJ's God-Father is a pilot for Continental. What if he was flying that plane? All of a sudden this tragedy became not just a public tragedy but a possible personal one, as well. I immediately told Jay he HAD to get ahold of Sean. Thankfully, he was not flying that plane. But still, the closeness of the situation is so scarey.

My mom and dad were happy to help out with Alex for the day. Thank God for that. I finally made it out to Buffalo around 11am. The day was sorta surreal. Every law enforcement agency you could think of was there, assisting in the response. Every one of these responders 110% committed to doing their part to help. And I was fortunate to be one of them. For me, it was a long day, and a learning experience, and an opportunity to provide support to other responders and the victim families. At several points during the day I fought back my own tears, watching others grieve. Still in the midst of this tragedy, there were several miracles that took place, too. Thank God for those.

On my drive home all I could think about was how much I wanted to be home and hug Jay and Alex. I have always been well aware of the uncertainty of life and how it can so quickly be taken away from you. But now, being a mom, I am too aware of how much I could lose. And it is scarey.

My thoughts and prayers continue to be with the victims and their family and friends, as well as the responders still working so hard at finding answers and clearing the wreckage. They have a lot of work ahead of them.

On the other side

Every so often I receive an email or PM from a complete stranger who only "knows" me thru the virtual world. They came across this blog thru a friend of a friend or as a link from a site I am on, etc. And then they send me a message telling me how our story has provided them with so much hope. They take the time to let me know how much reading our story and following this blog has helped them gain clarity and endurance thru their own personal struggles towards parenthood. And they thank me.

Thank me? WOW! Who would have thought that I would be here in this position to help others simply by sharing our story to AJ and our life with him.

I remember what it was like "on the other side". So desperately wanting a baby and feeling like it would never happen. With each fertility treatment I grew less and less hopeful. I remember being a part of so many people's struggles thru infertility to parenthood. I cried with them, celebrated good appointments and one by one, watched them become Moms. It seemed every group I joined online I'd be the sole member left w/o getting pregnant. Of course, there were a few others here and there but it always felt as though I was the only one never going to be a Mommy.

But my perspective changed once we committed to adopting. I started reading others' stories about how they were matched with their babies and were so happy to finally become parents thru the miracle of adoption. And these stories provided me with hope and inspiration, knowing that one day our baby would find us and that when he/she did, all of our struggles would make sense.

It still amazes me that I am on the other side now. I am one of the ones who can give others yearning to be parents hope. I can not describe the joy and gratefulness that feels me with - one, to finally be a Mommy, and two, to help others still waiting for their miracle. It truely touches my heart. And it provides me with motivation to continue to share our story.

Speaking of our story....I realized that the last few posts I haven't included any pics of our baby boy. He is 6 1/2 months old now (29weeks). Today he got to experience his 1st Superbowl. Although his Daddy's team (Bears) didn't make it to the big game, AJ was still excited to celebrate. Here are some pics b4 the game started:



Here's AJ saying hi to his buddy, Vincent who was visiting from Ohio. They are God-brothers since Vincent's Daddy is AJ's God-Father: