Changed my mind about Find My Family

I was a fan of the "Find My Family" show....initially. But I have to say I am very disappointed with the way ABC decided to present these searches.....the language they use and the focus is offensive to adoptive families. And I am saying this as an adoptive mom who knows the value of my son's birth family, who sees his birth family as an extended part of our family(even though we don't know them all) and will support him if he chooses to find or have a relationship with them. While I believe in the premise of the show, I think ABC could have done a much better job at presenting it in a way that is respective to both the birth and adoptive families, as well as the children/adult adoptees involved. There's my final 2 cents ;-)

ABC's Find My Family

When I 1st heard about this show I wasn't sure what to think of it. AFter watching it for the 1st time last week, I have to say that OVERALL. I think they did a good job at NOT being offensive to either birth or adoptive parents. The fact that, in our case, AJ has another family is just that - a FACT. It is not something that we are threatened by or feel insure about. We have a semi-open adoption with his birthmom and hope that one day he may even have a relationship with her and his other birth family. His birth family is a part of who he is - and the way we see it is they are an extended part of our family. From what I've seen so far, none of the adult adoptees were looking to replace their family, just connect with their first families, help get answers etc. That's not a bad thing. Adoptive parents have to feel secure in their role and know that they are "mom" and "dad". If AJ wants to search out his birth family one day, we will be there by his side to help him. ABC just has to be careful in some of the language they use so as to be less offensive to all viewers. Just my two cents.....

Life is Good

Life sure is good! Busy, but good. Wonderful, actually.

We went on vacation in November. First we went to Florida to visit with Jay's dad and step-mom. AJ got to open his 1st Christmas presents for this year. His grandparents wanted to be able to enjoy seeing him get their gifts. This part of our vacation was exactly what we needed - we got lots of rest and a chance to catch up AJ's grandparents. It was really wonderful.

Then we all went to Disney, which was also wonderful. Well, except for the fact that Jay got REALLY sick for a couple of days. Still, he was a trooper and we all had a good time. At 1st, AJ was not a big fan of the characters. Well, I take that back. He LOVED seeing them from afar and would get so excited and point and yell. But the 1st time he met Mickey he kinda whacked him in the face. And at Chef Mickey's Character breakfast, as soon as they approached him, this is what we got:

Soon we realized that if we approached the characters 1st, AJ was MUCH better with them. So for the rest of the vacation, that is what we did. And we got much better pics:

After a couple of days in Orlando the 3 of us went on our very 1st cruise. It was a Disney cruise to the Bahamas. Despite the fact that the weather could have been a bit better and the water a bit more calm (especially that 1st night!) it was a wonderful experience. We really enjoyed ourselves and watching AJ explore and dance and experience the ship.

AJ was absolutely wonderful on the entire vacation. He even did really well on the plane. We really are so blessed to have such an easy going baby - although our "baby" is growing up. Even as I typed "baby" I reconsidered typing "son" or "kid" instead. I will say that once we got back from vacation, AJ changed a bit. He is MUCH more independent now, which is fun to see, but also makes me sad too. He no longer holds my finger when I pick him up from daycare. And he sorta walks around like Mr. Big Shot now ;-) Still, he is VERY free with his hugs and kisses which I soak up! I hope those don't stop anytime soon (or EVER!).

We closed on our house when we returned from vacation and while it's going to be awhile until it is exactly how we want it, it already feels like home. AJ and the dogs seem to really like having more space to run around and play. And Jay and I love not being so crammed anymore. I can't wait for our whole family to be able to gather for holidays and get togethers. And I look forward to kids' parties, sleepovers, fires outside, etc. And yes, I did say "kids" - plural. Someday we hope to adopt again. The day that we start that process is getting closer.

Like I said - LIFE IS GOOD!

Life has taken over

WOW. It's been a long time since I posted. When I opened the page and saw the pics of Alex at the top of this blog I realized how much he has grown - those pics definitely need to be updated! 1st, I need to find some to actually do that ;-)

Why so busy???

Well, we are moving this weekend into our new house :-) We are excited but getting ready for the move, coordinating the closings and getting everything packed etc has been extremely time-consuming. And now that Jay is back working (since Oct 1) our schedules have become more crazy, especially during the week.

We also got a new puppy, Annie. She is a real sweetie and a great companion for Buddy. But she is a puppy nonetheless. Which means lots of pee/poop accidents and furniture surfing and barking/howling/whining and getting up in the middle of the night to let her out etc!!!! I swear - she is preparing us for another baby ;-)

But let's get back to Alex - he is doing great! He had some difficulty adjusting to being back in daycare, but he is doing so much better now. My favorite part of every work day now is when I go to pick him up and his face lights up and he comes "running" towards me. Then with his milk cup in one hand, and my finger in his other, we walk out of daycare to the car. He likes to take his time getting to the car, but I don't mind. I love that walk with hijm holding onto my finger the whole time. That Mommy pride just rushes thru me and I can't help but smile - no matter what kinda day I had at work, or what mess I am about to get home to - those precious moments leaving daycare with him make up for all of it!

Some of Alex's recent "developments":

- He LOVES Happy Feet and dances along with those silly penguins
- He does this cute new smile that involves squinting his eys and showing off
his teeth (see below)
- Speaking of teeth - he currently has 8 teeth - but they are all spread out thru
out his mouth - weird, but cute!
- He grunts and points at everything like a caveman
- He likes swimming on his belly in the tub
- Much to my disgust - he LOVES opening his mouth wide to receive doggy kisses
- Speaking of kisses - he is very generoius with his kisses - both blowing them and
actual slobbery ones. But the cutest is this - the other day totally out of the
blue he leaned forward and kissed me on my cheek - talk about melting my heart!
- He no longer needs his binky at naptime
- He can catch his footbal prety consistently now
- He is getting better at feeding himself
- He sleeps in a cot at daycare and sits at a table in an actual chair for lunch and
snacks there
- He now claps his hands AND stomps his feet AND puts his hands up to shout hooray
during "If You're Happy and You Know it"
- At his 15 month appt he was 21 lbs 6 oz (12%) 31.5 inches tall (65%). Long and
lean!

Side story - Yesterday the director at Alex's daycare said to me "You know, do you ever get that he looks like you thru here?" as she pointed to Alex's cheek-mouth-chin area. I quickly responded that no, I never hear that he looks like me, and that he is much more beautiful than I am ;-) But I gotta say - it was sorta irritating to me bc I've had some other encounters with this woman b4 around the topic of Alex and adoption etc and she usually says pretty inappropriate things. Not that saying that he looks like me is inappropriate, but given our previous encounters, I get the feeling that she is trying to come to terms with adoption and trying to feel more comfortable with it etc. I'm not sure how to explain it. It's as if she thinks it solidifies our bond if we look like each other. But c'mon! Alex is a blonde-haired blue eyed boy and I am pretty much the opposite of that! And you know what? - I am TOTALLY ok with that. We adopted him. He did not come from our genes, from my belly. And that is OK. In fact that is more than "OK" - that is wonderful and beautiful and something we are very, very proud of. Appearance similarities are not what makes a family a family. It's not what creates the bond. And I guess I had that "AH-HA" moment after my covnersation with this woman at daycare. The thing is when anyone considers adoption one of the things they have to consider is letting go of that biological connectedness - Jay and I, like any married couple, had talked about how our kids will be a blend of me and him, and how cute they would be with Jay's eyes and my hair etc. And when we decided to adopt, we had to let go of that possibility. And we did. But now I realize that not only did we let go of it, we embraced it. And so ironically, when this woman felt the need to find a physical simiilarity btn me and Alex, it irritated me. We don't look anything alike - and I don't need to feign a biological connection to him. Alex and I have a bond so tight and that bond is not based on looks, but on our hearts. Which makes sense since that is where he grew in me ;-)

1st haircut etc.

Geez, it's been awhile since I have posted. Life sorta takes over that way. We have been so crazy busy - we recently decided to move bc we found another house that we love. So we put in an offer on that one and are in the process of putting our current house on the market. It's been a grueling, tiring process trying to de-clutter all our clutter and get it ready to show. But it will be worth it if this all works out and we get this other house.

The "new" house is a lot bigger - 4 bedrooms, a HUGE ktichen (the kind I can just envision all our family/friends and even AJ's friends as he gets older hangin out in) and a back yard that would be any kid's delight - complete with a huge playset and a 2-story treehouse. Oh how we can see Aj loving that! But who knows if it'll work out. It may seem strange but the whole adoption process has really taught me that what is meant to be will be. So we'll do what we have to in order to try to make th emove happen, but in the end, we will get what we are suppose to get.

So that's why we've been so busy. But today AJ had a BIG day - he went to a salon and got his 1st official haircut. I say 1st "official" bc there was one time that I just clipped away some of his bangs, but we don't count that as an actual haircut. I said today was a big day for AJ, but it was a big day for me,too - maybe even more. I have been fighting Jay's requests to get AJ's haircut for a long time now. I just love the curls in the back and didn't wanna lose them. But nevertheless, it was getting too long. So I caved and decided it was time. The hair dresser did a good job at cleaning his do up, but not totally chopping it. Still, I can't help but thinks he looks more like a big boy and less like my baby!

So here is the before, during and after shots:

Letters from Birthparents

....What a special treasure to be able to give our children. A letter (or letters) from the birthparents that gave them life and gave us the best gift ever!

I have been thinking about this recently because of the MTV series "16 and Pregnant". What a surprisingly wonderful, beautifully honest and real series. Especially the one in which the young couple wanted a better life for their baby and chose adoption. This couple was beyond amazing in their strength and wisdom and love for their baby. At the end of the show, the young birthdad read some of a letter he wrote to their daughter and it was so heartfelt and beautiful. I've attached the link for the entire letter here:

Tyler's Letter

When birthparents write letters to the babies they created and placed for adoption, it gives that child a look into their birthparent's hearts and can give them some understanding on why they chose to place them for adoption. Often adoptees wonder why they were placed, why their birthparents chose not to parent, what their birthparents were thinking and feeling, if they loved them, if they think of them and miss them etc. These letters can provide them with some answers and hopefully some comfort and peace.

K wrote Alex one of these letters. She gave it to us the day we met her and Alex. She asked us to read it sometime after we left the hopsital, and to keep it for Alex. When we returned to our hotel, we focussed on Alex and settled in a bit to being new parents. But that letter was in the back of my head. I was anxious to read it but hesitant also. I knew it would be hard to hear K's words in the midst of our celebration. But we read the letter. And it was perfect. And I cried. I cried for K's love and sorrow, for her courage, for our gift and for Alex - knowing that he will have this letter to read someday. Today I took that letter out and read it again. It really is a wonderful letter. She wrote about her relationship with Alex's birthdad, about her decision to place him for adoption and about why she chose us to be his forever parents. I think (hope) it will help Alex understand. I'm so grateful that we have it to give to him someday.

Alex turned one just 2 weeks ago. And we didn't hear from K. I was hoping to have a bday card from her to be able to show Alex someday. But no card came in the mail. No letter. No call. No text. I was very disappointed that we didn't hear from K. But I have to remember that while we were celebrating Alex's birthday, she was likely remembering his birth in a very different way. I just hope she knows how much we love Alex, how happy he is and how grateful we are. We may not have a bday card from K to give to Alex, but we have that letter. And, thanks to some wonderful conversations with K prior to placement, we have lots to tell him about her decision to give him to us and about her love for him.

1 year ago today

One year ago today
You took my breath away
with your golden hair and bright blue eyes
Your sweetness had me mesmerized!


OK, there's my attempt at a poem memorializing the day we met Alex. I tried to write a more in-depth poem, but I can't seem to find the perfect words to describe that moment we first saw him, first held him, first smelled him, kissed him, cuddled him. It's really indescribable. And how from the moment he became ours, all the pain, struggle, disappointment, frustration, hopelessness and anger we experienced trying to become parents all just magically disappeared. It was like everything came into focus - we knew exactly why we went thru everything that we did. Our road was meant to lead us to Alex. And to those moments.

Below is a popular adoption poem. I love this poem and related to immediately in those first moments with Alex. Recently, because of his birthday and the anniversary of us meeting him I was reminded about it again:

The Gift of Life
I didn't give you the gift of life,
But in my heart I know -
The love I feel is deep and real
As if it had been so.
For us to have each other
Is like a dream come true!
No, I did not give you the gift of life -
Life gave me the gift of you!

Alexander's 1st Bday pics

Here are just a few of the cute pics from Target yesterday...

How is Alex one year old????

One year ago today I had just returned from OK for my annual work conference and we were celebrating my Dad's birthday a few days late. Really, it was just a normal day for us. I was happy to be home from OK and be with Jay, Buddy and Bella. And I was not looking forward to returning to the office the next day. It's always so crazy returning from a trip, especially a work trip, having my weekend cut short and then returning to the office. Little did I know how crazy it would really get!

The day after "Baby Boy S." was born we got the call about him. Things were a little uncertain at that point but we jumped on to the rollercoaster. Then on 7/15 we were told K wanted to speak with us. So I rushed over to Jay's work and we sat in my car trying to get through to K at the hospital. The line was busy for about an hour! Each minute that went by added to our nervousness. We finally got through and K told us her phone was accidentally off the hook. We spoke to her for about 30 minutes. She asked us lots of questions and told us what she liked about our profile. Then she told us that she wants us to be her baby's parents. I immediately started to cry. We will never forget that moment when K decided to give us the best gift ever! "Baby Boy S." became Alexander Jay Eric - our son!

We called our adoption agency to tell them the news and get the ball rolling to be able to pick up our son. We decided not to call anyone else until we both got home from work. We had lots to finish up at work in order to prepare to be out for awhile. Talk about craziness!

After I left work, I went to Target bc I needed allergy medicine. I got my meds but then I just wandered around the store in a complete daze. I guess I was sorta in shock - it felt like a dream!

When Jay and I got home we began calling our family and closest friends to share our news. We videotaped many of these calls. I love how you can just hear the pure excitement and joy in our voices and someday Alex will hear it too. Then we called K and I had a great conversation with her. We have so much in common and it just felt right. We talked about how "people come into your lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime"...one of my favorite sayings. K's too. And then she sent us our very first pictures of our son via text. I remember feeling so anxious to see what he looked like. And when we received the texts my eyes filled with tears, my heart just about melted - he was OURS! And what a beautiful baby boy he was!

The rest of that night was spent on the phone, sending emails, updating our blog. Before I went to bed I started logging everything that happened that day so I would not forget any part of our story.

That night I slept about 3 hours. I just kept thinking about Alex. The little sleep I did get was filled with dreams of him. The next day Jay and I went into work and shared our news with co-workers. Jay's mom brought a bday cake into her work to celebrate AJ's bday - I thought that was so sweet!

We spoke with K again that day several more times. She is quite the talker! And her mom sent us more pictures of Alex, as well as some other family pictures. Later that day we found out we would be traveling to get Alex in just a couple of days. We spent the next days getting everything organized at home and at work in preparation for bringing Alex home. Again, I did not sleep much at all.

On 7/17 Jay and I drove to Buffalo to go to STAR to sign the papers. That was quite the experience - we like to refer to those few hours as our "labor pain"! But in the end we were so excited to be meeting Alex in less than 1 day!

On 7/18 we got up bright and early and left our house for Long Island. Our video-camera decided not to work so at about 4am we drove to Jay's parents' house to borrow theirs! Thank God they answered their phone that early!

After getting a little "off-track" on our way to Long Island, we checked into the hotel and rushed to the hospital to meet K, her mom and our son. That day is forever stamped onto our hearts.....too many precious moments to write here now.

So today is more than just Alex's 1st bday - it's the beginning of our family story. I can not believe he is one year old already! Didn't K just hand him to me? Wasn't he just a little 5 1/2 lb baby? I loved everything about his 1st year. And I am sad that it is gone. It really went by so fast - too fast. I wish I could just slow time down. But just as I cherish all the days we've had with him up til now, I look forward to the moments we have yet to have with him.

HAPPY BDAY ALEXANDER!!!!! WE LOVE YOU! And I pray that you will always know what you mean to us every day of your life!

I suppose I shouldn't post this LONG post w/o any pics of Alex. I have been deligent about taking his picture on every "week bday" so here is the LAST of the weekly pics. This is Alex yesterday at 52 weeks old (and yes - he is standing a lot and even taking some steps!):

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO US!

Today Jason and I celebrate our 4th year wedding anniversary! Four years ago today was one of the best days of our lives! I use to say it was the BEST day of my life, but that was before Alex. But still, it's easy to get caught up in the joy of parenthood and loose grip of the wonderment (is that even a word?) of marriage. Our lives became so focussed around Alex since he is our world. But we have to remember that in the center of that world is mine and Jay's relationship, our love for each other, our marriage. And today I can say that I love Jay even more than I did 4 years ago. So while everyday is about Alex, today we are celebrating us.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABE!

Jay's 1st Father's Day

Today is such a special day. It's a day that Jay will always remember. It's his 1st Father's Day...

And I am so proud of the Daddy that he is. Life has brought us a little twist in the road with Jay losing his job. But that has meant that he has more time to spend with Alex. This time is so special. Not a lot of dads could adjust so well to being at home with thier child. Not all dads would enjoy it as much as Jay does. Not all dads would do such a great job. But Jay is not just any dad. He is Alex's dad and he is a great Daddy! We are so lucky to have him in our lives and I am so proud that he is my husband and our son's Daddy. I always knew he'd be a good father, but I never knew how good he would be and how much more I would love him.

Because I have to go away today for a week-long work training in OK (thats' a WHOLE 'nother topic!!!) I wanted to make the most out of the time we have to spend together as a family before I leave (Did I mention that I hate that I have to leave at all?!). So we started off the day with a family walk - me, Jay, AJ and Buddy. Then we came back home for coffee. Jay is not a breakfast person, so after AJ's morning nap we are gonna go to IHOP and get brunch. Then it'll be off to Coldstone Creamery to check out their new flavor of icecream - Jello Chocolate Pudding! Jay always talks about when Jello made chocolate pudding pops when we were younger and how much he loved them and how he wishes they would make them again. Earlier this week I got word of Coldstone having this new flavor available on a limited basis. So we are psyched about trying it out.

Then after icecream, my boys will take me to the airport (UUGGGHHH! I HATE that I have to be away from AJ for so long! I am gonna miss him - and Jay of course, so so so much!)

But back to Father's Day....

We got Jay a bunch of grilling supplies, some golf balls and a beer bucket. The present I was most excited about is below. I took AJ to a little local beach area and we had a photo shoot. I am so happy with how it turned out. The frame is doubled sides (well, sorta - I made it that way at least!).

Front of frame:

Back of frame:

HAPPY 1st FATHER'S DAY JAY! WE LOVE YOU!

11 months old

Today AJ is 11months old. Last weekend when I was thinking about this month bday I realized that this is the last month bday before he turns ONE YEAR OLD! That made me kinda sad, kinda excited and kinda amazed.

Sad because I have loved every month of this 1st year and yet I know we can never get them back. Sad because I already feel like my lil baby boy is getting so big so fast and he is no longer that itty bitty baby we drove home from Long Island almost a year ago. And God how I instantly loved that lil baby.

Excited because despite the saddness mentioned above, it is so cool to see him get bigger, stronger, smarter. As cute as he was at 5 1/2lbs, he is even cuter today. And as much as I loved him from the moment I saw his first picture, I love him even more today.

Amazed because it is sorta unbelievable that one year ago we didn't even know about him. We had no idea that our baby was growing in another woman's tummy and in 1 month he would be born. It truely is amazing how quickly our life changed from one year ago.

Post Finalization Pics

The day after we finalized Alex's adoption we went to a fabulous photography studio to enter him into a photo contest and get some really good individual and family post-finalization shots. He did not win the contest, but we all had so much fun during the shoot. We really felt like we got the star treatment. And Alex was quite the ham!

The studio was nice enough to email us some of the pics to post here so all our friends and family can see.

Just look at those cute baby fingers and toes!


Here's our angel baby shot.


Silly, random cowboy pic.


Jay didn't like any of the ones of him and Alex but we both liked this one of me and Alex. Look at how he is touching my hand. He melts my heart!


And finally...our favorite family shot. We will treasure this photo forever since to us it will always symbolize us officially becoming a forever family!

Oh Happy Day!

I looked up the word "finalization" online in order to find a proper definition. Here's what I found:

1. to put into final form; complete all the details of.

2. to complete an agreement; conclude negotiations

Hmm. So finalization means to make something "final". Interesting. I thought you're not suppose to use the actual word in the definition. OK so what is the definition of final then?

1. something that comes at or forms the end

2. that which forms an end or termination

3. pertaining to or expressing the end or purpose

OK, so when you think of something that is final, you think of something that has come to an end, is terminated, concluded or completed. Those words DO NOT describe today at all.


Today we finalized AJ's adoption. Yes, by doing that any worry about losing him has ended. The process of adopting him is completed. And any birthparents' rights are forever terminated. But we do not see AJ's finalization day as an end. It is so much more a beginning. It's a day to celebrate.

Here are the Judges present today.


Today AJ has officially become our son - in every way possible. We can get his birth certificate, SSN and passport. We can claim him for the adoption credit. We do not have to worry about anyone changing their minds and trying to take him away from us. He is ours.

But didn't we already know that? We were sure that he was our son since we first saw his picture. Some switch came on, like our hearts recognized him as ours. K even told us that he was always intended for us. So today just re-confirmed what we have always known - he is our son. We are his parents. This is our family.

The Judges said this was one of the biggest, if not the biggest, family present for a finalization they've seen. We hardly all fit into the courtroom.


So yes, today is a HAPPY DAY for us! It's a day to celebrate. And we did. And we both breathed a sigh of relief. And then we kissed our son and welcomed him home - again.

Forever and Ever - AMEN!

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow......

you're only a day away!!!!

Recognize those lyrics anyone? It's from "Annie". I loved that growing up and today I am singing "Tomorrow" because tomorrow is a BIG day for our family. Stay tuned....

First there's today. And today ain't so bad either ;-)

Alex turned 10 months old today. He is getting so big and doing lots more stuff, including FINALLY cutting a tooth. Although the timing on that couldn't be worse cuz now he's all congested, his nose is red, his eyes are runny and he's obviously uncomfy. But he's a trooper.

He still hasn't really crawled, but we are not concerned. He gets around one way or another. And he's pulling himself up and LOVES to stand. He may just skip the whole crawling business and walk soon!

Here's a pic of Alex being silly today trying to chew on the string on his pants. Silly boy!

My 1st Mother's Day

Mother's Days used to make me so sad. It was the most blatent reminder of what I wanted to be more than anything, and what I wasn't yet a part of. That was before Alex.

Now that I have Alex just the thought of Mother's Day approaching brought a smile to my face and I could actually feel the joy in my heart.

So here it is. Today is my 1st Mother's Day.

I woke up to the smell of breakfast cooking and Jay carrying Alex into our room. First I got to snuggle with Alex and give good morning kisses. Then Jay brought me breakfast in bed.

I know this may sound silly but my vision of Mother's Day has always been breakfast in bed. Before today I have never had breakfast in bed. We didn't even own one of those server trays. I know I had mentioned this to Jay in the past, about how I dream of the day when I can have breakfast in bed with my kids. And he remembered. He served me his famous grand slam breakfast - french toast, eggs, sausage and OJ. And on the tray was a vase with some lilacs. There were also cards - one from Jay and one from Alex. And a present. The cards were perfect and beautiful and as I read them, tears starting rolling down my cheeks. Then I opened my present. It is a picture frame - one side has a sketched picture of me and Alex when he was just a couple weeks old. The other side of the frame is a poem that Jay wrote for me.


Isn't that the sweetest most perfect thing ever!

Today I feel so blessed, so fortunate, so grateful, so happy and full of love. Today I get to celebrate Mother's Day because I am a Mommy.

As I enjoyed my breakfast in bed experience, I had to laugh. I told Jay how I can't help but look forward to the Mother's Days ahead when Alex can "make" breakfast himself for me and I'll end up eating a cookie and corn in a bowl or something like that! That makes me smile. But today I will enjoy my almost 10 month old, the tooth I can feel starting to FINALLY poke through and the beautiful family we have.

Thank you K for making this day possible for me!

"Happy" Birthmother's Day

I learned something this year that I never knew before. I learned that the Saturday before Mother's Day is Birthmother's Day. It is not a holiday the general public knows about. And Hallmark doesn't make a card for it (believe me, I looked!) But it is a day created by a group of birthmothers in 1990 as a way to educate others and more importantly to honor and remember the choices they had made. It is a day that our family will forever choose to recognize, as well.

But why the need to recognize Birthmother's Day?

I think it's two-fold. First, I think Birthmother's Day is a way for all Birthmothers to bond together and know that they are not alone. It's an opportunity, at least for this day, to feel as though others really understand the journey they have gone through, the sacrifices they have made, the joy they have given forever families, and the sense of loss and saddness they feel.

Secondly, I think Birthmother's Day is an opportunity for us Forever Families to honor the woman who not only gave our children life, but who also gave us the gift of that life.

We think of K often and pray for her happiness and health. We thank God every single day for bringing her into our lives, and for her chosing us as Alex's Forever Family. We will teach Alex about the important role she played in his life, in all of ours lives. And she will always hold a very special place in our hearts. She is part of our family. And it is because of her that we are a family.

Thank you K and "Happy" Birthmother's Day! We love you.

Our 1st Easter with Alex

After breakfast Alex "found" his Easter basket "hidden" behind the dining room curtain. Actually Buddy found it first but don't tell Alex that ;-) The Easter Bunny brought him a few books and a froggie puppet and some eggs to play with. There were even some treats for Mommy and Daddy and Buddy, too! Alex had fun going through his basket and then "swimming" in the basket grass.




After church we went to Aunt Nell's house to celebrate. We had lots of yummy food, including monkey bread and Nana/Papa, Granny and Aunt Dee had some cool gifts for Alex. Alex enjoyed being silly with Nana, Papa and Granny. He also liked Uncle Kevin's guitar playing and tried to join in.

Then the older cousins had an Easter Egg Hunt in the backyard while Alex and Aidan enjoyed a wagon ride. Alex also went in the swing outside for the first time which he LOVED. He didn't enjoy the slide as much though.



Then we went to Grandma Sharon's house to celebrate with that side of the family. Alex enjoyed sitting in the highchair playing with his cousins and singing along with them. Of course, Grandma Sharon got some "Alex time", too!



It was a great day filled with lots of family and fun!

The bitter and the sweet

The bitter -

On Weds I had to travel to Binghamton for work. This was the very 1st time that I've had to be away from Alex for more than a few hours. Jay, with the help of Nana, Papa and Grandma Sharon all did a great job taking care of him while I was gone. But still, I was gone. I missed him so much!

The sweet -

When I came home last night Alex had just finished eating dinner with Nana. As soon as he saw me his face lit up! Now he pretty much always does this when he greets Jay or me. But this was definitely more exagerated. I picked him up and he was literally smiling and gigling for about 15 minutes. How sweet is that! ALMOST makes going away something to look forward to because seeing him again just melted my heart!

After some playing, a bath and a bottle, lil man fell asleep in my arms. This was the 1st time we noticed that he looked like a little "boy", not a "baby. Just how he had his arm wrapped around me, sorta hugging me.

Don't mind how I look - it was a LONG week for me! But how precious is he?!

STAR Easter Egg Hunt

Today was AJ's very 1st Easter Egg Hunt. It was with some of our Adoption STAR families and what a beautiful day for it! I have been looking forward to this party for a long time. Last year I attended it by myself. Jay had to work and we had just finished our homestudy classes. I remember 2 things very clearly from that day. 1st - it was the very 1st time since trying to become parents that being around so many families and lil ones didn't make me sad or jealous or hopeless - instead it filled me with hope and happiness for our future. And 2nd - I remember someone saying to me that next year I could be there with OUR baby. Little did I know that less than 4 months later we would have Alex! So bringing him to the party today and being a part of the STAR family now just feels so wonderful.

The party itself was great. The backyard was covered with plastic eggs filled with goodies for the kids. And the house was filled with STAR families. AJ really enjoyed interacting with the other lil ones and I really enjoyed catching up with the moms/dads and meeting some new ones. I gotta say - there is something so special and wonderful about being in a house full of families who became families through adoption. It's an atmosphere like no other. And I feel honored and blessed to be a part of this group.




After we left the party AJ PASSED OUT in the car. All the playing and fun wore him out! He slept the entire 40 minutes home. And as you can see from the picture below, the nap continued on the couch with Jay and Buddy. I, on the other hand, was busy upstairs uploading, editing and posting all the pictures from the day. No rest for the weary!